Life Matters Blog | Self Matters, Life Matters
Self Matters: How Setting Boundaries Can Lead to Your Greatest Freedom
I believed for many years that if I were “nice” to other people and pleased them enough, they would like me and be “nice” to me, even love me. The strategy backfired every single time. People were all too eager to take advantage of my kindness, compassion, and generosity. I stayed in relationships and jobs long after I had clear evidence of incompatibility, abuse, and exploitation. Constantly looking to please others is one symptom about not setting appropriate boundaries. When I reached the points of anger and resentment, I no longer liked the person and wanted them out of my life altogether. Even then, I often remained because I wanted to protect their emotions. The bouncing back and forth and fuming contributed to depression, anxiety, headaches, and exhaustion.
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