So I decided to start journaling again. This is I do not know, the umpteenth time I will have embarked on trying to create the habit in myself to do it every day, day in and day out at least 5 minutes every day!
To those who know me you have read my occasional blog talking about fibromyalgia and living with chronic pain. I thought if I could learn to journal I might be able to blog better to you all and share this journey better. So I took a course with Mari L. McCarthy online “Peace Of Mind and Body 27 days of Journaling to Health & Happiness”. It has gone a long ways toward helping me learn a new habit of journaling finally.
Many things have come along and gotten in the way trying to prevent this from happening of course. My brain and my body have rebelled BIG TIME… Through strange diagnosis of bi-polar and sluggish thyroid to this last doctor visit erratic heart rhythms and skipped beats almost putting me in the hospital quickly diverting my attention from writing anything! To family upheavals and cold water splashes knocking or trying to put me in my place, whatever that is, I am still struggling along here and am determined as ever to conquer these demons and learn to keep this new good habit for the rest of my productive life.
And I am learning, how much I am finding that I am now not alone in this illness now that I have my journal to talk to. I no longer have to stuff my fears, worries, and pain inside, buried, or hidden. I do not have to burden my spouse with conversations riddled with explanations of how my body hurts if I know I have somewhere to tell it to and get it off my chest and let it go. Just the act of doing that helps the pain subside some by allowing it to flow up and through me. Because I can then ground myself to the mother and feel the earths energy through my feet.
For now I will thank Mari L. McCarthy for helping me find my voice again and I am hoping I can keep practicing and not lose it and only grow stronger a little more every day, every day.
February 4, 2015
Another day and journaling is still happening although I can tell I will not be able to be slack in this at all. If I do not wag fingers at myself it will be too easy for me to not stay the course so I know I will need to do some digging deep down and find out why this is being such a hard task for me. What is buried down there under all those layers keeping me from the truth at the bottom? Time and journaling will only tell.
In the meantime I will make bracelets to sell and tie dye and other creations to bring laughter and lightness and light to my life and others who suffer from chronic pain and who need the uplifting of spirit in their lives to feel alive beyond the pain and suffering because there is so much more to you than that! You and I have so much to do and to give that we cannot let these chronic conditions rule our lives and stop us from living and moving and walking our paths to higher realities. Do not let this keep you down!
Cynthia Matusky says: I am 58 years young, retired from the rat race, trying to earn a meager dollar or two above social security and learning to love life differently than it grew on me for the first 50+ years. I love to play making things, reading, gardening, writing and traveling with the love of my life which took me many years and a few failures to find. I have no children except of the furry variety which I prefer. And of those I choose rescues always.
You can find her handiwork here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Dancingbearsnet