Sorting through your feelings can be a tricky business. It’s often not as straightforward as, “I feel ____ because _____ and therefore, I will ______.” You may have difficulty defining or expressing certain emotions, or you may have expectations of how you should feel that don’t match the reality of how you do feel. Your emotions also don’t exist in a vacuum, and the opinions of others can have a strong influence on how you express yourself and your overall emotional health.
In a recent Huffington Post piece, motivational speaker and author Mike Robbins writes:
I sometimes find it challenging to honor my own feelings -- especially if what I want or feel seems to be at odds with other people, or my emotions don't seem to be "appropriate" to the situation. While I'm not someone who tends to hold back sharing my honest opinions, desires, and feelings and, over the years, I've gotten quite a bit of feedback from people close to me about talking too much, dominating situations or conversations, and being selfish -- underneath all of this is a deep fear that my feelings and desires aren't as important as other people's.
It has been humbling to come to this realization about myself recently. However, it has also been incredibly liberating to see this pattern and to ask myself the question, "What would it be like to honor my real feelings and to live my life knowing that what I want and feel is just as important as anyone else?"
Robbins recommends journal writing to get in touch with how you really feel, an important step toward better self-esteem and emotional health. It’s important to honor your feelings and recognize that they are as important as those of other people.
Journal Therapy Tips for Processing Your Emotions
1. Be honest in your journaling. Sometimes we censor our true thoughts and emotions even when we are writing just for ourselves. Let go of this limitation and allow yourself to write honestly, even if you are embarrassed to admit how you really feel. (If you’re worried about anyone reading your journals, you can always keep them under lock and key or destroy them later if you want!)
2. Go beneath the surface of your emotions. Ask tough questions in your journal and search for the honest answers. If you discover you are furious with a friend after a minor disagreement, for example, ask, “Why? Is there a bigger issue here that I’m not dealing with?”
3. Be respectful. When you do identify your feelings through journal therapy, recognize that they are valid and worthy of considering. Pretend you are listening to a close friend talk about her feelings, and respond with the same kind of support, love and respect.
Read how other Journalers use their Journals for Journal Therapy in Dark Chocolate for the Journaler’s Soul and WriteON!
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