Guest Blog Post by Wendy Kipfmiller
It has been exactly a year since an earth-shaking incident took place, one that left me questioning my Self and my sanity. I had been invited back to the scene of the crime to visit, and although I no longer live there, that pain still does. For the following 2 nights, I mulled over the invitation, knowing there was no way I could go there without re-living last year’s events. I think often we want to avoid exploring the feelings that are making it impossible to rest our mind. I was avoiding dealing with these feelings, and I was avoiding the work and the commitment of grabbing my pen and paper and rolling through the process of healing.
So I allowed myself to suffer through at least 2 sleepless nights, before I finally called on my journal for help. I refused to succumb to any more Tylenol PM, and all the lavender in the world wasn’t going to relax me. So around 4 a.m., I reached under my bed and grabbed my spiral-bound journal with my astronaut pen (it writes upside down). I wrote nonstop for just under 45 minutes—no tears or laughter or pausing to reflect on what was going on the page. About halfway through, my breathing became slower and my shoulders relaxed. My grip on the pen loosened, and my eyelids were getting heavy.
My revelation: after writing, I was now a witness to myself and my experience—not an active participant in the chaos happening in my tired-but-wired head. Sometimes it’s easier to make sense of the chaos when it’s out in front of you on paper. You can look at it more objectively, see it from the outside, instead of being the victim.
How I’d wished I’d done this days ago...ZZZZZzzzzzz
So pages, pen: I am grateful for your service. It is because of you that I can make sense of the tumbling words and feelings that won’t rest until they come through this pen and land on this page.
About the Author
Wendy Kipfmiller is a creative professional and proprietor of her own graphics company, Snixysnix.com. Her journaling journey began around the age of 11, and took on many forms over the years, including poetry, doodling and collage. Along with her journaling practice, she loves yoga, anything Apple, and playing with her matching set of Black Labs.