Journaling Therapy Exercise: Dealing with Disappointment

Life doesn’t always go the way you planned it, and learning how to cope with disappointment – from small setbacks to devastating blows – is an essential skill to develop for your emotional health. Journal writing about disappointing experiences helps you process your feelings about them and makes you more resilient for challenges in the future.

The next time you are feeling low about a situation that didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, take out your personal journal for some journaling therapy.

1. Begin by describing exactly what happened and how the outcome differed from what you wanted to happen. Who else was involved or affected? What repercussions does this situation have? For example:

My manager at work left for another company last month, and they have been looking for her replacement for a few weeks. I applied for the position, which I would be perfect for, and I was sure I had a great chance of getting the promotion. Today I found out that they decided to hire someone from outside of the company for the job. I don’t know anything about the new guy they hired, and it seems like now I’ll have to help train the person who beat me to the job I wanted.

2. As precisely as you can, express why you are disappointed or upset and what emotions you are experiencing. Try to pinpoint what bothers you the most about this situation. For example:

I am hurt and offended that they didn’t think I was qualified enough for the job. My pride is hurt, and now I am doubting my experience, my skills and even my future with the company. This promotion would have been a great move for my career and a good pay raise, so that also stings. I am dreading having to face the person they hired, and I’m also worried that he won’t be a good manager.

3. There will always be factors out of your control, but instead of focusing on these and becoming more frustrated, make a list of what you can control. What actions can you take to make this situation better? How can you overcome your disappointment to move on in a positive way? Brainstorm in your personal journal. For example:

• I can demonstrate my professionalism by being kind, gracious and helpful to the new manager. I will remind myself that it does no good to be petty or childish and will instead hold my head high.
• I can ask the hiring manager why they decided to go with another candidate. This will help me understand their perspective and learn ways to grow professionally.
• If I am unhappy with the new work situation, I can start looking for another job elsewhere.

How do you cope with disappointment? Has journaling therapy helped you through setbacks in the past?

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