Back when I was twelve, I looked forward to growing up. I assumed that grown-up status meant many privileges, and it never occurred to me to think of the costs.
Now it is many (many) decades later, and I still have not grown up. At least, I've not arrived at some hardened place where things are predictable, and affordable, and authority is assured. Instead, all things seem to be perpetually in flux, as usual.
Sometimes, even in my – how shall we call it? – late middle age, I wonder who I am.
Somewhere recently I read that in the end we will not be asked what did we accomplish, but rather did we become ourselves?
Challenges, trials, experiences shape us, but we still may turn after many years and ask, Who demands this? Who exactly creates this particular world I call "me?"
What does it mean to become myself? After an already long life, shouldn't I know exactly Who I Am?
But then, I don't, of course. I may have known better at 25, but now I know less certainly than ever exactly Who I Am. Though it must also be admitted that the uncertainty is far less alarming than it used to be.
I used to crave the answers in black and white, but lately I don't mind the answers being in many shades of the spectrum. I am this, today; and that tomorrow. As my friend says, "You do your best every day, but your best isn't the same every day!" Consider that. Isn't it true?
Your journaling brings it all together. Yesterday becomes today and leads to tomorrow.
People have told me that they remember things better if they write them down. They never have to look at the writing again; just the fact of writing it once causes them to keep the item in mind.
Your journal is where your sense of You solidifies through the writing, just as memory solidifies through writing.
The hand, and the eye, and the mind co-ordinate to produce a perspective that is otherwise unattainable. You can't follow this process and reap its benefits just by thinking or watching. Combining handwriting with observation in your journal results in a fortified sense of self, a renewed strength as you carry on into the future.
CreateWriteNow is sponsoring the Who Are You? 7 Day Self Discovery Journaling Challenge, February 20-26, 2012. Look for the sign-up instructions coming soon!
If you are 50+ and feel like you're in control of your game, please talk to me. Also, if you're 50+ and feel like you're totally NOT in control of your game, please talk to me. Comment or send an email, whatever suits.
How do you use your journal for self-discovery, despite being already mature and well experienced?
Image from - http://www.flickr.com/photos/puuikibeach/5969367418/
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