Why strong self-esteem is the secret to success in life

Author - Mari McCarthy
Published - August 8, 2019

Good self-esteem and success in life go hand-in-hand. It’s difficult to achieve anything if you don’t believe you can, or if you believe others are holding you back and if only you could change “X” you could really succeed at “Y.”

The truth is, developing strong, positive self-esteem is the key to success. Not only do they go hand-in-hand, success and self-esteem feed off each other, creating a positive personal growth cycle because when you set and accomplish goals or build great relationships, you wake up happy, your positive self-image grows and so does your self-esteem, spurring you on to the next goal. Success begets success.

The fuel for good self-esteem is self-confidence. While some people think these are the same things, they are not. Self-confidence is essentially the ability to trust yourself. Self-esteem is how you value yourself. So you can be just as confident that your value — or self-worth — is low as you can be that it is high. In other words, you can be very confident in certain areas of your life and still suffer from low self-worth.

While self-confidence and self-esteem are mutually independent, high self-esteem can be directly related to high self-confidence. If you’re suffering from low self-esteem, chances are good you’re also not confident in the things you do and how you approach life, work, and relationships. As a result, you’re hamstringing your ability to succeed.

What this requires is a boost in self-confidence and that requires a change in attitude, behavior, and outlook.

Here are some tips to get started on feeling better about yourself:

1. Start a journal

Write down your thoughts and challenges to focus your thinking and help you uncover ways to meet those challenges. Don’t forget to write about ways that you have been succeeding. When you are having a down day, go back to those positive entries to boost your spirits and confidence.

2. Set some goals

Michelangelo said “the greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” It is the accomplishment of goals that make a person realize that they can achieve their goals. That’s why it’s important for parents to help children set goals and grow as goal setters and achievers, starting early in life.

3. Talk to yourself more positively

Instead of berating yourself with statements such as “why did I do THAT?” start your day with positive affirmations and learn to refocus your thoughts to things that are more constructive.

4. Surround yourself with positive people 

Don’t let negative, toxic individuals control the way you think about your life, your work, or your relationships. Negative people don’t have solutions, they just have problems. Avoid them.

5. See the positive in mistakes and failures

Every mistake and failure is a chance to learn and improve. Look at it this way: when you’re driving and make a wrong turn, your GPS doesn’t say “you’re a loser, go home.” It re-calculates and gets you back on track. Shouldn’t you do the same?

6. Love others

It may sound trite, but love really does conquer all. Spreading some love is a whole lot better than wallowing in negativity. When you spend time being more kind and loving to others, it come back to you. Being nice has substantial rewards – it raises spirits, builds confidence, banishes negativity, and boosts self-esteem.

Some people chase success unsuccessfully. Others, by the nature of their actions, their positive outlook, and their self-confidence find that success finds them. When you are confident in your actions, you’ll do better at the things you do, so don’t be afraid to set goals – they are the catalyst for success. 

Use your journaling to explore appropriate goals for various aspects of your life. Then write them down and hold yourself accountable for achieving them. When you accomplish your goals as a result of your actions, your self-esteem rises even more and you begin to feel that you are really are good at things which leads to further happiness and greater success in all things.



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