How do you find the power to change your reality and to remain true to yourself, when everything around you is constantly changing?
I was raised in a dysfunctional family. From the age of four, I witnessed family violence. And for 17 years of my life I absorbed everything within my turbulent home environment until it shaped my perception of life. Fear ruled me for many years after and I carried this burden, until I found the courage to change my reality through journaling.
They say from birth right through till six years old, a child unconsciously absorbs everything within their surrounding environment. What it means is that, children are unconsciously immersed with exploring the natural world around them. Through their five senses, they create memories, every intricate detail from their surrounding experiences and this makes up the reality in their mind.
Think about it, does knowing this, make any difference in the way you raise your children? Could it be possible that we pass on our fears unconsciously, as we go about our daily routine without realizing the impact it creates within a child’s nurturing environment.
But here’s a thought, if everything happens for a reason, then perhaps all our failures, rejections or disappointments experienced, are signals bringing us into a deeper level of consciousness. And when we begin to see ourselves clearly, for who we truly are, within this chaos, a treasure appears. A discovery that will move us further along this path we call life. But how do you find the courage to change your reality?
In this article, I share with you how the power of journaling changed my reality, by helping me outgrow my old self so I could become the person I was meant to be.
Why I started Journal Writing...
It was New Year’s Eve mid-1970s, I was eight years old. My maternal family gathered together in my aunts’ home to usher in the new year. All the children played “pass the parcel” and I got the final prize, wow! But I’m never this lucky or maybe it was meant to be me to win this prize. Tssssh! I tore the wrapper and it was a beautiful journal. I kept it close to my heart, wondering! Hmm... what can I write in it? I must write something special and it sat by my bedside for many years. And one day, I opened it and wrote to expressed how I felt in my emotionally unstable home and forgot all about these journals.
It was my mom who kept these old journals, all 20 of them. And as I read them, I cried because I see the truth of who I am. The unconscious journey to write my story in a memoir began from my childhood. Looking through my journals, I discovered a bigger vision of my life, missing pieces of gems from my past. Turning points in my life became the crux of my story. But hidden beneath all the drama and pain, were secret treasures, lessons I had missed out through all the chaos. They were there to help me heal. People often ask me, why are you not angry? How can you still smile? My answer is simple, I’ve learned the secret to forgive and forget. This crucial lesson needed for me to end my pain was hidden in the pages of my written journals.
Most people go through life trying to forget their past and I understand how much hurt and pain can resurface from these triggered memories. But have you ever attended a family gathering where all the issues and drama emerges during these events?
Family gatherings can trigger eruptions or arguments simply because old unresolved issues keep coming up as regular dramas. And often people who don’t feel worthy, want to be acknowledged and loved for who they are. Our past issues hold the key to getting unstuck and moving forward but we live in a world where we are told to forget the past. And we must be careful not to pass it onto the next generation, unconsciously. In my own life, I’ve found the gift of healing within the chaos in my childhood.
For every drama in my life, I asked this question in my journal, why did that affect me? Why me? Until one day the answer appeared before me, the pain I felt were signs showing me where I’ve neglected in my life which needed healing and forgiveness.
In many of my journals, were repeated quotes from my mom who often encouraged me, we’ll get through this. What I learned is to never push those fears away but instead to process my sadness by recognizing the cause. I saw clearly the treasure it presented.
Journaling showed me pieces of puzzles in my life where a bigger vision of my future became visible. I had written my hopes and dreams as powerful intentions to live a meaningful life. There is a flow of energy, we all follow in our life and even when we run to avoid situations because of fear, somehow it comes back to us. Why? Because we missed the lesson it presented within the chaos. A piece of the puzzle to help you move forward, to live the life you were meant to live. My journals became roadmaps of discovery showing the way forward. So be brave and follow through everything that comes to you, especially the failures, rejections and disappointments. Trust me, look for the gift it presents.
Journals are amazing time capsules, they take us back in time to where it all began. And I found that the past and future are all connected to the present. It is what you create in the reality of your mind. When you take the time to write in your journal, you are creating your intentions. You focus your energy to make things right in your life. The past holds clues to help you move forward but are you brave enough to take the risk to go back in time to relive those painful moments and find the clues you missed. Do you know what is holding you back?
We all at some point in time, want to erase the mistakes from our past that ruined our life. But what if you were meant to make that mistake to learn an important lesson.
Meant to Be
Meant to Be is the first of a two-book memoir I’ve written, soon to be published. My reflections of a turbulent childhood of abuse and violence, a story of how I survived, healed and went on to live an extraordinary life. When I look back at my life, I often smile to myself thinking, it is hard to believe I was raised in a life ruled by fear. But what makes it incredible is how I survived, moved on to live a meaningful life.
When I was young, I asked my mother this question, why do we suffer so much? And she would tell me, long before you and I were born into this world, our destiny had already been written and we must fulfill everything that was meant to be.
What about you? How will you use journaling to change your reality, to live the life you were born to live.
Alison Laverty is a multimedia expert and author of her memoir, Meant to Be. Raised amid family violence, as a teenager, Alison contemplated suicide. Homeless and shunned by society at the aged of seventeen, Alison and her mother struggled to survive. Chronic illness and a near-death experience led to a journey of self-discovery. Guided by her mother’s gentle whispers, Alison followed her dreams. Accepting her weaknesses and fears as hidden strengths, Alison believes that forgiveness begins with self. Alison lives with her Aussie bloke and their two mischievous possums in Brisbane, in the Sunshine State of Queensland, Australia.