My Journaling Experience ......a way of coping? A way to heal? A way of communicating? For what? The Pain. The Grief. Of my best friend...my support system...my mother who got sick suddenly in May of 2015 with brain cancer and two weeks later lost that battle. An event that I have not learned how to fully recover from. There was no time for goodbyes, there was no last words, there was no should of's , could of's, let’s wait and see. It was all of a sudden aggressive cancer and My mom went home to Jesus. My world stopped. She was a part of my everyday life in every way, when she died my world stopped.
As I journaled I don’t think my intentions were to journal my grief but that was very much what came out…a lot of my grief, the guilt that maybe I could of done something to save my mom or did she know how very much I loved her. Should of I found her a different doctor. Anything and maybe she'd be here today. No....Cancer is a nasty illness...as I continued to get these feelings out on paper, I realized that my feelings were normal…and that it was ok to hurt and miss my mom...and I don’t have to have a time frame to stop missing her.
Journal Writing was a very healing experience for me. I could put anything down on that paper and not be judged, criticized or blamed. I always seemed to start out with the prompts but one thought seemed to drift off and by the end it led into my mind and heart feeling something different. I loved this. And it has totally inspired me to a new hobby, a new way to see myself, and value myself and aspects of myself.
I never would of thought writing in a book could be so amazingly beneficial or fun...I definitely would recommend this to anyone...Until next time...Happy Journaling!
About Brandy Dille
I am 40 years old and live in Illinois ...I have two children...a son 19 and my daughter who is mentally challenged will turn 16 February 7. My son left two weeks after my mom’s funeral for college and moved into his own apartment. How proud I was of him...but...it brought back feelings of that same grief I had just experienced for years before my daughter was born. I was a single parent to Steven (my son) and for him to leave and be on his own was very rough. He is adjusting well and comes home on the weekends he can.