Relationships can be different. Someone wants to find the love of their whole life from the first date. Others prefer free hookup sites and no serious stuff. Though most of us tend to create connections when both partners are happy together. However, even if the relationship starts with a honeymoon, we all meet some problems later. Positive energy, trust, and love drain out. We begin feeling exhausted, and the relationship changes to being toxic. Everyone should know how to develop self-love and confidence. It's the first step to improve the relationship.
There is a strong connection between self-love and a healthy relationship. Self-worth is the fact that influences our social role in many aspects of life. A needy, negative, and unsure person can scare people around, even if they demonstrated some interest and romantic intentions. It's important to know how to develop self-love in a relationship to change it for the better.
We have collected several exercises to develop self-love, whether you have low self-esteem or just want to improve something in your life:
1: Devote time to your needs
Many people change their behavior totally when they start a relationship with someone. They devote their whole life to the new beloved one. It doesn't happen in a day. First, it seems natural that your new partner is spending all the time with you. You want to do the same, right? Well, it's an addiction in the first stage of any romantic relationship. And a brilliant opportunity to exercise self-love. What to do? Don't reject your own friends. Don't forget your hobbies. It's unhealthy when your new relationship absorbs your identity. Keep your own activities and friends. It doesn't guarantee that this relationship will never break up. Still, if it happens, you will have to change only a part of your life, not the whole life.
2: Discuss boundaries to develop self-love
Creating boundaries is a significant part of a relationship and a step to self-love as well. Boundaries don't mean that there is no love, they mean that there is respect. You have to show your partner that some actions are not acceptable. You have to listen to the partner’s needs as well. Make your needs clear. No one can read thoughts. Setting boundaries is a way to build self-love and confidence and improve a relationship. It's better to discuss physical and digital boundaries from the very beginning. However, it's acceptable to do this in the process if something is unclear. Don't be afraid to express your feelings to your partner. Be clear, be calm, and be persistent. Say what you feel, it's not always obvious that some innocent actions may cause some stress to your partner.
3: New beginning
It's easier to enter and to be in a relationship with a strong feeling of self-love. Though we don't live in the ideal world and many people seek how to practice self-love after a breakup. Remember that you are responsible for the happiness you have. No one can make you happy until you have happiness inside you. If you jump into the next relationship after a breakup and try to complete the inner emptiness, it will not work. The baggage from the past will not let you go. You have to be a complete person to have a healthy relationship with someone. You cannot change anyone and you cannot make someone love you. All that you can do is meet your own needs and take responsibility for your own happiness.
4: Show love to your body
Do not take your body for granted. A sound mind is in a sound body. Show love to your body by offering good food, completing active training, or wearing suitable and comfortable clothing. It will give you important positive energy that will positively influence you and your surroundings. Before thinking about how to have self-love in a relationship, think about self-love to your body first. Add your personal “me time” to your everyday schedule. This is a time when you devote yourself to your own plans only. No kids, partners, pets, or friends. Only you and your feelings. Use this time to nourish your body, go to the gym, have a nap, do what makes you happy. Some choose reading, yoga practice, or meditation. You have to make it your self-loving ritual. One session will not help you stay positive, it has to be an everyday action. You have to know that you can have at least one hour a day devoted to your only needs.
5: Be present in a moment
Do not use the future tense when you speak about happiness. Life is not something that will happen one day when you wear a lovely dress or travel to another country. Life is happening right now. Life passes when you drink a cup of morning coffee, reading the best books to develop self-love. Life turns around the corner when you find a puppy who will stay with you for the next dozens of years. Life is around us. Be present in every moment of your life. Your partner will never make you happy if you do not notice the life that surrounds you.
No matter whether you are in a relationship or not, it is never late to develop self-love. You have to know how to improve self-love and confidence even if you and your partner are coping well with all that love stuff. It can always be better. If you struggle in the relationship, focus on your desires. Add some selfishness and self-love and observe the differences. Self-love is about accepting your life with all your highs and flaws. When you accept yourself, then you find the right place for your well-being. And it will also give more reasons for someone to love you, as we are looking for someone to enrich us in some way.
Do you have the time devoted to you only? How do you develop self-love?
Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.