Journaling for the Health of It! TM is much, much more than just a dreary data dump. It is a way to discover your passions and pointedly pursue them. For me, daily journal writing showed me where to find my musical voice.
Growing up, I glued myself to my transistor radio and played my red-speckled phonograph incessantly over and over again. My mom introduced me to "the standards" like Cole Porter and Frank Sinatra. She taught me their lyrical melodies and we danced them in our kitchen. We had a long-running repartee about my vocal ability: "Oh, mom, I wish I could sing" I'd whine. Her response: "Oh, honey I wish you could too!"
I took piano lessons and competed in the Pittsburgh Pianorama several times at the historic Syria Mosque. Don't know why I stopped though. My guess is that Sr. Miriam Joseph's raves about my much more talented younger brother Stephen (who cleverly played by ear) strengthened my inferiority complex. What I do know, thanks to beaucoup journaling, was how St. Bernard School's Music Director permanently sealed my singing fate when I tried out for The Choraleers. After only 5 or 6 bars, he told me that they didn't need me because I was tone deaf. What was tone deafness? A disease? Did I need a doctor? Of course, good little Catholic fourth-grade girls weren't supposed to ask for explanations or reasons why. And I didn't get any teacherly advice on how to get my voice tuned up either. I mean teachers are supposed to help kids learn, right? So my severely shy 10 year-old only performed pantomime bedtime duets with her maroon transistor radio.
After college, Barry Manilow entered my life and reignited my musical passions. He had a song for all my seasons. But I was focusing my energies on my growing business career and was way too busy to take time for the zillion lessons a tone deaf singer would surely require.
But when I turned 50, and in a committed journal writing relationship, I finally got up the courage to revisit my vocalist. Always the ardent goal setter I used (and still use my Journal) to help me set and get goals. One December, one of my goals was to take singing lessons. About a month later, a story about the Kingston School of Music that accepted adult students appeared in my local newspaper and I signed on.
A year later, I debuted in my school recital performing Frank Sinatra's "All the Way" (thanks for the introduction, mom). When I sang on stage, I traveled to another world that felt so…cosmic! After, my teacher asked, "How did it go?" "Were you scared?" "No way," I answered, "When's my next performance?
Like my journal writing, singing is a form of self therapy: they both relentlessly reconnect me with my body. My body and I often dialogue about old habits like jaw clenching, shallow breathing, eye scrunching and work on turning them into healthy behavior patterns. My muscles spend less time on tension and I spend less money on wrinkle creams.
For 2009 one of my musical goals was to be on YouTube. For 2010 I’ll release the CD “My Favorite Sings—Then and Now”, my interpretation of my favorite Broadway melodies and I’ll remix, remaster and re-release “A Baby Boomer’s Christmas” for which I’m writing a Christmas song with the working title of “Clowning Around at Christmas”.
And my chats with my celestially located Mother go something like this “Oh, mom I know I can sing.” Her reply? "Oh, honey, I know you can too."
What are your passions? What are your goals?
Ask your Journaling Therapist and you’ll find your soul!
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