We all have Inner Critics. Heck, some people (present company included) have a cackle of Inner Critics. Luckily, we have our journal therapy practice to plow through what I fondly refer to as the Critic’s “crazycrap”. The recipe calls for plenty of pen, paper and journaling, journaling, journaling and then we begin to see the light of day with more consistency.
In their newsletter article, “How to Create the Voice of an Inner Coach” SelfMatters presents 8 ways to quiet the Inner Critic and invent an Inner Coach. To which I’ll add a 9th way:
Use your journal therapy routine to dialogue with your Inner Coach. When you take a compassionate, curious approach to interviewing him, he’s sure to share his Super Bowl winning playbook with you.
How to Create the Voice of an Inner Coach
While the Inner Critic may be strong, it can be calmed. Developing and empowering a supportive Inner Coach helps counteract the Inner Critic's force. How do we do this? We need to be mindful. We need to learn about the ways that judgment triggers emotion and causes us to get down on ourselves. We need to practice hearing our Critic's self talk, interrupting it, and replacing it a gentle yogic voice that simply notices what we are doing and comments with encouragement and support. If we! practice, with each inhalation and exhalation, we can retrain our brains and increase our capacity to be kind and loving.
Here are some ideas to guide you on your journey to calm your Inner Critic and build your Inner Coach:
1) Know that your Inner Critic will never go away completely. By learning strategies to calm it, you can reduce its destructive power and live more freely.
2) Become mindful of when and how your Inner Critic talks. Start with noticing the words it uses and write them down. Notice the patterns of what your Critic says and how it makes you feel. This will create awareness of your negative self-talk and the affect that it has on you.
3) Explore the sources that have fed your Inner Critic. Consider who in your life disappointed you by being critical rather than helpful. Remember that many people think that being critical is useful, even loving. That idea is misguided and can cause unintended hurt.
4) Interrupt your negative self-talk & replace it with a neutral and encouraging inner voice. As you repeat this process over and over again, it will become easier.
5) Resist negative comparisons. Notice the opportunities to compare as they arise because they will
6) Eliminate the use of "should" and "shouldn't" from your vocabulary. These words promote feelings of shame and rarely help to provide perspective
7) Seek support from those who can make a difference
8) Practice yoga
If you practice all of the above, you will be on route to strengthening a compassionate Inner Coach. We wish you well.
To learn the skills for transforming your Inner Critic into a more positive self-coach,
join Jane Shure and Beth Weinstock at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health for Quiet Your Inner Critic & Calm Your Anxious Mind, October 23-25, 2009.
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