How to Find the Perfect Partner via Writing

    Kelly Richardson December 10, 2021

    Looking to manifest love and clinch the perfect fairytale partner? We all are. Finding a partner that ticks all your boxes isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. 

    You've probably tried several mail-order services or dating apps without success. However, there's one option that you haven't tried yet: writing. We know what you're thinking. How on earth can writing help you find the perfect partner? 

    In this guide, we'll go into detail about how this rarely-explored path can help you find the love of your life in no time at all. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?


    Here are some of the best ways to use writing and journaling to help you find love:

    Create love lists

    What's a love list and why is it important? To answer the first question, a love list is simply a list that details the reasons why you're searching for love and what you'll do when you find love. It's an introspective activity that helps you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for a relationship. It also helps you get into the right energy for your future partner. 

    Your love list can contain many different questions (and answers) such as:

    • Why do I want to be in a relationship? 
    • What do I enjoy most about intimacy?
    • What does the perfect relationship dynamic look like to me?
    • How does a man/woman show me that they love me? 
    • What is my love language

    By creating a love list, you'll be able to determine if you're ready for a relationship and easily set goals and expectations ahead of time. 

    Document your past relationships and learn from them

    We've all made mistakes in our past relationships or dating journeys. Maybe you set your standards too low or tolerated certain toxic excesses. Or maybe you were even a problematic partner. 

    Whatever the case is, the truth is that we're all supposed to learn from our mistakes. If you want to have a healthy relationship going forwards, you'd need to analyze the mistakes you've made in the past and try not to carry those burdens into your new partner's life. 

    Process what happened in your past relationships, document them, and apply the lessons learned to date smarter this time. For instance, if communication was a problem in your past relationships, you might want to work on your communication skills and actively look for a partner who isn't afraid to communicate their feelings. This will help to ensure that you have a happy, healthy relationship going forward. 

    Create a detailed description of your ideal partner 


     If you're looking for love, it's best to be as honest and specific as possible with yourself. Whip out your journal and create a very detailed description of what your ideal partner looks like. Describing your ideal partner will help your search become more focused and fruitful. 

    The more specific you are, the higher your chances of landing the perfect partner rather than a knock-off version that only ticks one or two of your boxes. 

    When writing about your ideal partner, you could use the following question prompts to ensure that you cover all the bases:

    • What does your ideal partner look like physically?: Although looks aren't everything, it's great to have a clear physical image of the kind of partner you're looking for. 
    • What are their personality traits?: Are they extroverts or introverts? What kind of interests should they have? 
    • What life values must they have?: It's important to choose a partner whose life values align closely with yours. This way, you'll be more compatible and avoid endless conflict. 

    Use affirmations

    Although affirmations are often seen as corny and excessively cheesy, they can be effective as well. Writing down affirmations can help you manifest love quicker than any other method in the book. You can start by writing daily affirmations about what you need and are hoping to manifest. 

    It's usually advisable to write your affirmations in the present tense as this will help you feel more confident and boost your energy. For instance, instead of saying "I will be an attractive woman who will find love in the right places", you should go for something more affirming like: "I'm an attractive woman who is finding/ has found love in the right places."

    Constantly affirm the kind of love and partner you want and sooner than you think, it will all come to you. 

    Keep track of all your dating activities 

    In your search for love, you may often feel like you're at a standstill with no significant progress. However, by writing down all your dating activities, you can get a closer look at how much progress you've made and be motivated to make an extra effort. 

    For instance, after going out on each date, you might want to document how the date went, what went wrong, and what you liked about the date. This record, regardless of how insignificant it may seem, will help you decide if you want a second date with the person in question or not. 

    Subsequently, when you go over your records, you'd be amazed at the efforts you've made so far and might feel motivated to ring up one of the people you went on a date with. 

    Final Thoughts 

    Searching for a partner can be an exciting and gruelling journey at the same time. Luckily, writing can take you several steps closer to finding Mr/Miss Perfect. 

    As you wait to find the one, it's also important to notice the love around you. Make a list of all the people in your life who love you and how they express their love for you. Think about how they enrich your world and why you love them. 

    This will help you appreciate the true meaning of love and also mentally prepare you for the huge transition into a relationship. This way, you won't settle for less in a bid to feel loved. 

    Here's to happy endings! 


    Kelly RichardsonAuthor bio: Kelly Richardson is a writer and dating coach with over ten years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Over time, she has helped bachelors find a wife online without falling prey to scammers.