I’m sure many of you use journaling to keep an even keel when it comes to relationships in your household, with your family members or other housemates who probably know more about you than anyone else.
Particularly if there are big differences in ages, keeping the peace at home can be tricky. And there are as many solutions to the inevitable bumps and squabbles as there are homes.
Though I live blissfully alone these days, that’s not always been the case. I know how challenging it can be to live harmoniously day in and day out with family members. It’s so easy to love them unconditionally and want to kill them at the same time. It’s so hard to remain detached, to curb your emotions, to be unceasingly fair and generous.
If your journal writing is daily, or at least very regular, you’re bound to mention your home environment now and then. Look back over the past year or two … how is your family life described in the pages of your journal? How do you feel towards those entries? What emotions come up around family issues and/or the way you have dealt with them?
Maybe you’d like to make a special study of the harmony in your home. Maybe you just think it's interesting; or perhaps it’s an urgent need, to better understand tension or some discomfort that may be present.
It might even be a good idea to dedicate a separate journaling notebook to your explorations. Because family ties are so strong and meaningful, they shape who we are. They are certainly worth examining in depth.
It’s not smart to think that you can overcome a toxic home life by pretending everything’s okay. Everyone has to come to terms with the daily relationships in their life, or risk being miserable.
No matter how you try, sometimes it seems impossible to work out incompatibilities. For whatever reason, animosity exists between you and another person in your household, making everyday life tense. What to do? Take it to your journal, of course.
- Describe what’s happening.
- Imagine the ideal outcome for you.
- Imagine the ideal outcome for the other person.
- Make a plan of action that satisfies your conscience as well as your heart.
- Set daily goals and journal your experiences.
You might be super-involved with your house mates, whether family or friends; or you might merely share space without any additional expectations. Whatever your individual situation, your journal is the most efficient way to keep things in balance.
- Start by making a picture. Stick drawings, I mean. Like those decals on the back of SUVs everywhere. Your family or house mates. The humans (and perhaps also the animals) that live in your home.
- List the relationships that exist within the walls of your home. Mother to daughter, husband to wife, sister to brother, friend to friend, stranger to stranger, etc. Write descriptions of each: how the relationship is and how you wish it would be.
- Concentrate on your interactions with just one of your house mates. Write about the good and not-so-good aspects of your relationship. What, for you, is the bottom line? What do you most want for the two of you, both together and separately?
- Describe the ways in which your home is your haven, where you can feel safe and comfortable. Maybe include a sketch or two of your favorite spaces. Savor the support you feel.
- Think about the people you live with and articulate for each one a special blessing. Imagine it as a toast or prayer which you offer in gratitude for that individual.
A great way to stay balanced is my 53 Weekly Writing Retreats, designed to help journalers to make time (at least an hour a week) for self-exploration and personal growth.
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