Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Wed, Feb 22, 2012 @ 01:09 PM
Sometimes I'm just so sad. It's a feeling, sort of like a squeeze on my heart and lungs and stomach all at once. It feels like a sickness and a craziness and a sense of total failure combined. I inhale the nasty concoction with my morning toothpaste and suffer from it all day long.
Things happen. Shit, for instance. Shit happens. My computer blows up. My relative disses me. My contributions are ignored. My car breaks down. My creations are ridiculed. I begin to feel useless and stupid.
Why are some days fortified by indomitable optimism while others slog by, overcome by misery? And if the variation is due simply to the fractal nature of reality, how can I suffer less from the fluctuations?
In short, what can I do to make the sad stuff seem less sad?
Well, there are a bunch of cures. You can go out to a movie or ask a friend to dinner or get a pedicure. You can join a choir or a volleyball team or read a novel or take a painting class. There are something like a million thirteen ways to circumvent the blues.
But the most immediate, direct, anytime accessible solution is to journal. To get out the old pen and paper and write it out. Whatever "it" is.
By the way, that is an appropriate prompt at just about any given time: What is "it"?
You pick up the pen and position the paper and bring the two in contact. You let the ink spill a nanosecond ahead of your consciousness. You dance, race, skip with your guide in this way until some end makes its logic obvious.
Then you take a deep breath and read this thing over. What does your writing teach you?
What does my writing teach me? I have only to ask and it is made abundantly clear.
The thing about journal writing is that it speaks directly to your questions, more directly than any other source.
Don't believe me?
Test it out for yourself. Ask your journal, What is happening, what am I supposed to be noticing right now, what's the significance of the current circumstances and environment? Then, reading over your entry, make a note of answers to your question. You can highlight your answers or do whatever you feel like with the answers.
Please share your revelations, ask questions and/or tell us how you did the exercise in the Comments section below and/or … in our brand new Forum: Journal Writing Ideas.
image from
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23024164@N06/4757819913/
Damian Gadal
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Tue, Feb 21, 2012 @ 09:37 AM
Guest Blog Post by Deonne Kahler
I’ve got a confession: I can’t paint my way out of a paper bag. (Well, I’m seriously talented with a roller and tray, but I don’t think that counts.) I’ve always envied visual artists, with their smudged smocks and intense focus, until I realized journalers aren’t that different. It’s all about tools and setting and giving yourself the gift of taking your art – journaling – seriously.
So if you’ve been writing on half-used steno pads with leaky pens at a cluttered desk tucked in the corner of the spare bedroom, stop. (An extreme example, but you get the picture.) You deserve just the right tools and space to write in because your words count. They absolutely do.
Whether you’re jotting ideas for a novel, complaining about your crabby boss, or analyzing last night’s dream, make it fun and special. It’s the only me-time many of us get, so why not make it great?
There’s no right way to journal and that’s the beauty of it – the experience should be as unique as you are. Turn off the phone and email and journal like a painter would.
You need a canvas. What’s your favorite? A leather-bound journal, big lay-flat notebook, diary with a beautiful illustrated cover, or guided journal with prompts? Do you like blank pages, lined, or graph? None of this has to be expensive; in fact it’s better when it’s not. There’s great joy in filling up a journal then cracking open a fresh new one, but if it’s high-priced you may hold back on doodles and notes and wild ideas because each page feels like gold. And you, as an artist, should never hold back.
…a brush. Pen or pencil, take your pick, but whatever you choose, make sure it moves easily across the paper. I love a gorgeous fountain pen as much as the next guy, but it can be heavy and scratchy. My pick is a medium-point roller ball – light and smooth.
…and a studio. I journal in an overstuffed green chair in my living room, but maybe you prefer your four-poster bed, sitting at an antique desk, or rocking on the porch. Wherever you feel calm and comfortable is best. Candles add a little magic, even during the day, and music (without lyrics, since they tend to distract) can get the thoughts flowing. A beverage is a nice touch – tea, coffee, and seltzer with lime are good, and wine or a cocktail can loosen things up even further. (But use the latter in moderation if you want your words to make any sense in the morning.)
What’s your favorite way to journal? Share your thoughts below!
DEONNE KAHLER is a writer, photographer, road tripper, and mom to Sam the Wonder Pup. Her work has been published in anthologies, online, and in print. She also owns a business, JournalsAndNotepads.com, and is obsessed with paper products, National Parks, small towns, and quirk. Her current journal has a drawing of a devilish little girl on the front.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Mon, Feb 20, 2012 @ 08:43 PM
Creating a list is a fast and easy way to spark your creativity and kick your journal writing into gear. The next time you are staring at the blank page, trying to think of what to write, start by using one of these ideas for inspiration. Simply pick a theme and write until you run out of steam!
10 List-Making Journal Prompts
1. Places you want to travel: Look at a map and daydream about the far-flung places you will visit someday.
2. Professional goals: Think about where you want to be in your career in a year, five years or 10 years.
3. Things you love: Chase away the bad day blues by listing your favorite things – from movies and books to smells and words.
4. Accomplishments: Use journal writing to record your proud achievements and successes in your personal and professional life.
5. Heroes: Who inspires or motivates you? Who are your role models? Write down the names of your heroes, whether they are personal friends or famous leaders.
6. Bucket list: Reflect on everything you want to do, see or accomplish before you die. Dream big!
7. Traditions: What are the important rituals or traditions in your family or circle of friends? Make a list of those that mean the most to you.
8. Milestones: Look back on your life so far and write down the most significant events (for example, moving away from home for the first time or meeting your spouse).
9. The best of you: Sing your own praises for a change; brainstorm your best qualities, attributes and quirks.
10. Values: Take a close look at your personal values. What is most important to you?
Which of these journal prompts resonates most with you? Have one you like to use? Please share.
And here are 136 and counting journal prompts if you need some more list making ideas.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Fri, Feb 17, 2012 @ 07:01 PM
Reading is one of life’s great joys; there is nothing like losing yourself in the plot of a good
novel or engaging your mind with interesting non-fiction. The problem is, with all of the commitments and distractions in your daily life, sometimes making time for reading falls by the wayside.
When was the last time you read an excellent book? Did you experience the feeling of not wanting to put it down until you finished the last page but also not wanting it to be over? Remember that feeling, and use your personal journal to keep you reading and writing.
Journaling for Reading Inspiration
1. Start by thinking about how often you read and compare it to how often you would like to read. Is there a big difference? Why? If time is the issue, reflect on parts of your schedule you could rearrange or cut to carve out more time for reading. Tell your personal journal how you are going to make reading more of a priority. For example:
I probably watch more mindless TV than I need to. I do it because it’s an easy, relaxing escape after work, but if I limit myself to an hour of TV instead of two a night, I can use the extra hour to open a good book.
2. In your personal journal, make a list of books you have been wanting to read. Don’t include any that you feel you should read but aren’t actually interested in; limit your list only to books you are genuinely excited about. For inspiration, visit your local bookstore or library; you can even keep track of books you have read and want to read (as well as friend’s recommendations) on Goodreads.com
3. Choose the first book for your journaling book club. As you begin to read, take breaks every few chapters to tell your personal journal about the book. Pretend that you are telling a good friend about it. What are you enjoying about it? What are you not liking about it? Is the story capturing your attention? What do you think is going to happen next? What about the author’s writing style do you like or dislike?
4. When you finish the book, write a slightly longer journal entry reviewing it. On a scale from 1 to 10, what would you rate it? What is your overall feeling about the writing, the plot, the characters or the ending? Would you recommend the book to a friend? Would you read another book by the same author? What about the book was most memorable?
5. Select the next book on your journaling book club list and repeat!
My goal this year is to read more fiction so my list alternates between a book of fiction and a book of nonfiction. What books are on your to-read list? What books have you read recently that you would recommend to others? Please share your experiences!
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Wed, Feb 15, 2012 @ 05:53 PM
We've been talking a lot lately about using journaling for Self Discovery. Maybe it's time to stop talking and start doing!
In January, we had a full 27 Day Journaling Challenge, with dozens of participants and innumerable epiphanies. Whether or not you were there, you're going to love our next Challenge: an action-packed, no-holds-barred seven days of journaling down to your core Self.
The 7 Day Self Discovery Journaling Challenge begins next Monday, the 20th, and runs through the 26th. You can sign up here. No cost for the workshop; just purchase the (waaayyy inexpensive, if I do say so myself) workbook.
You'll be investing in the creation of an heirloom, or at least a treasured collection of your discoveries that will serve as your personal guide for years to come.
Don't trust yourself to be faithful to a journaling process? Come on board anyway and you're very likely to get hooked.
The seven days are focused on collecting large amounts of new information about your Self: your motivations, personality, fears, loves, and tons more.
The course begins with an orientation towards writing by hand, strongly suggested for the week's exercises. This may be a challenge in itself, for many of us. But writing by hand is a shorter route to Self understanding.
The week continues with exercises that open up Self awareness, including dealing with self-criticism and fears that keep us from Self knowledge. The seven days conclude with suggestions for next steps.
It's a lot to promise in a mere week, but that's the awesome power of journaling.
If you've done our Challenges before, you'll find this one is little different: certainly shorter, a bit more intense, and it includes some stimulating new exercises.
We're also hoping that the abbreviated time commitment required by this Challenge will attract newcomers to journaling. If you're reading this post and toying with the idea of keeping a journal; or if you know someone who might like to try it, now's your chance!
The risk is teensy tiny and the rewards are unspeakably great.
So. Here's the sign-up link again. Do your Self a favor.
image from
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cupcakes2/3514343096/
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Tue, Feb 14, 2012 @ 02:48 PM
Guest blog: Journaling on authenticity
© Iris von Brandstatter
Oh boy the 'A' word - yes folks, Authenticity! Today I want to talk about authenticity and how to use creative journaling to get closer to the 'real YOU'. Your true YOU is a flexible concept, as you change, so does your authentic self. Most of all, it's an exciting exploration of your wonderful YOU!
Many years ago, I found the mere concept of thinking about my authenticity was something really daunting. Especially when I looked around me: stuck in a job I didn't like, with people I did not care for, and a half-hearted relationship - well so much for authenticity. Where had I lost myself?? I was baffled that my life had come to this.
So I sat down one day with my journal and an intuition let me outline my hand with a pen on the page. I stared at this, something wanted out.
I gathered some magazines and cut out words that resonated with who I truly was and started sticking them in the outline, always focusing on authenticity. Not too long and I felt an answer forming: a) fear of not fitting in b) fear of not being able to survive doing what I really love. Lightbulb moment! I put my own hand over the outline and all those words, closed my eyes and breathed deeply … and then the tears came but also deep inside me a flame was lit anew … to just not give up finding the real me!
A great start for any Authenticity journey is:
1) Look what's in my head - aka what are you telling yourself on a daily basis and with which words.
2) Look at what comes out of your mouth – how do you verbalise your responses, feed-back, self-express?
"Authenticity is a matter of self-awareness and self-responsibility." That's where I had gone wrong or abandoned courage. I had not taken very good care of myself, no sir!
So I started writing words around the outside of my hand of 'ideal-case' scenarios … like 'wonderful, safe home' - 'lovely, trustworthy people' - 'fulfilling, creative work' etc. and spilled over onto more and more pages.
This soon became a journal in itself: My life in balance!
I started with the perfect authentic living arrangement, expanded on that in detail, with new words and pictures, then job satisfaction, then romance etc. Close to midnight, I was tired, yet psyched and put the journal under my pillow and slept on it - literally.
Looking at my inner vocabulary, I realised how much other people’s phrases and words had gotten into my head and formed a dictionary that was not quite 'me' … and a lot of it was negative and depreciating.
So later that weekend, I went online to look at a thesaurus and made a list of my favorite words and their relevant synonyms … like 'abundance' (affluence, ampleness, bounty, copiousness, fortune, myriad, opulence, plentitude, plethora, prosperity, riches, thriving) you get the idea. Just reading those words made me feel happier somehow! I had my positive affirmations right there, plentiful!
I also did this with words that I did not like or felt threatened by and that conjured up negative feelings and by doing so and finding their synonyms, I found it easier to 'dispel' the context and associations I had - after all they are only words and words … can be replaced.
I can say that this focusing on my Authentic Self got me rather quickly to
a) a wonderful place to live, just right for me
b) a new career doing what I love and being able to support myself
c) amazing new people and most of all a happier, more content self.
Call it the law of attraction - it worked, and still does. And it has led me to a new career bringing Authenticity also into businesses and throwing in a good bit of Emotional Intelligence on top. I run a LinkedIn group called: 'Authenticity & EQ in business' if you care to join.
After starting my workshops in creative journaling 10+ years ago (www.journaling4freedom.com), I included that very same hand-outline exercise in the manual and people have found it truly helpful for whatever their obstacles in the search of true self might be. So why not try it yourself. I would love to hear your feedback and see how you get on.
The journey of Authenticity is the most profound you will ever embark on and your journal can be a to help you step by step get more in sync with the core of your soul and the heart of what really defines YOU! “Feeling follows focus, it always does, it’s a powerful force!”
Happy journaling,
Iris von Brandstatter
Founder | Coach | Speaker
www.journaling4freedom.com
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Mon, Feb 13, 2012 @ 08:19 PM
If you have ever hit the snooze button on a Monday morning, hoping to wake up back on Sunday, you’re among good company. The daily grind of the work or school week can be tiring, but making time for journal writing can give your energy and creativity a welcome boost.
This week, instead of reaching for your third cup of coffee, try these journaling prompts to help you stay awake and engaged. Write when you get up in the morning, while you eat lunch or as you unwind at the end of the day.
Weekday Journal Writing Ideas
Monday
Open the nearest book, magazine or dictionary and write down the first three words that catch your eye. Don’t overthink it; just go with the words that interest you. Use them as a starting point for your journaling today. What do you associate with each word? Does it remind you of a story or a person or a time in your life? What other words do you think of when you see or hear it? If you are on a roll, draw a picture or write a short story featuring all three words.
Tuesday
What is the most important topic on your mind today? Is it a concern, an exciting piece of news or a conflict? Tell your journal about it, and ask yourself questions that help you process your feelings. For example: Why is this significant to me? How do I feel about it? Do I want to share it with someone else? Is there any action I should take?
Wednesday
Spend 30 minutes people-watching in a place you enjoy – a park, a coffee shop, a library, a restaurant. Observe what they look like, whom they interact with, what they say and what they do. Write down notes about each person, then put together a story with your new characters.
Thursday
Make a list of the top 10 things that make you happy right now. Think of the journal writing exercise as taking a snapshot of today – what makes you laugh, smile or feel good about yourself?
Friday
Reflect on the past week. What made you happy or proud? Did you learn anything new? What worked well for you? Do you think daily journaling helped in any way? What do you want to carry with you into the following week?
Your comments? Help or Hinderance in getting you into or back into daily pen to page journaling? Would really love your thoughts.
Have you signed up for the Who Are You? 7 Days Journaling Challenge. Free sample chapter!
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Sat, Feb 11, 2012 @ 01:30 PM
If you consider yourself a hopeless romantic, you might adore Valentine’s Day and its over-the-top decorations, presents and declarations of love. If you see yourself as more of a realist, you may roll your eyes at the candy hearts and sappy greeting cards instead.
Whether you fall into one of these extremes or somewhere in between, you can use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to reflect on the holiday and the meaning of love in your life. Choose one or more of these journaling prompts to feel the love!
V-Day Journal Prompts
1. What does the word “love” mean to you? It’s a big idea, and it carries very different meanings for different people. What is your personal definition of love? Does this definition change for the many relationships in your life – your family, your spouse, your children, your friends? How do you express your love? How do you want others to show you they care?
2. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Who was it? Is it someone who is still a part of your life? What about it made such a strong impression on you? What is the most romantic gesture you have ever done for another person? How did he or she react?
3. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Do you look forward to it, dread it or ignore it? Do you have any traditions associated with the holiday? If you celebrate it with a significant other or friends, what are you planning for this year?
4. Did you celebrate Valentine’s Day when you were a child? What are your strongest memories of February 14 while you were growing up? Did you give cards or candy to classmates or make crafts or gifts for your parents?
5. How do you pamper yourself throughout the year? What are your favorite indulgences that you look forward to? Do you treat yourself to chocolate sundaes or movie outings or new hardback books? How do you feel when you allow yourself these gifts?
Which of these journal prompts did you write about? Did you make up one for your very own? Let us in. Happy Valentine’s Day!
What about giving Y-O-U a special journaling gift? Finding out who you really are in just 7 Days!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Wed, Feb 08, 2012 @ 05:10 PM
One of the best ways to look at anything is cross-eyed.
Not literally, of course. I mean when you examine anything from both sides – right and left, up and down, pro and con – you end up with a more precise understanding of it.
We have political debates to look at different sides of questions. Education generally tries to help us grasp many angles of events and issues. And you comparison shop, right?
So why not apply the same principle to your process of self discovery through journaling?
You can get used to the idea by imposing an opposite viewpoint on something you just penned into your journal. Suppose you're going on about how you are sad and blue, wishing you were somewhere else. You can get a better idea about this suffering by imaging and then writing what the opposite of it would be.
If you are journaling obsessively about a particular concern, you can begin to counter the anxiety by devoting a similar amount of ink to the opposite of that worry.
On the micro level, within your daily posts you may wish to pop into the opposite of things now and then, because this sparks up your thinking and writing and feeling.
A few examples:
Why do I have such an adverse reaction to her? It's like I will take a detour rather than drive by her house. It's almost superstitious, like I think she has cast a spell on me. (Or, maybe she has blessed me in some mysterious way.)
Or perhaps,
Leaving work every day is always such a thrilling moment. I can't wait to sink into the car seat and cruise home, free at last. There's gotta be a better way to live. (Or, I love slowly cooking dinner, drinking a glass of wine, enjoying my family.)
Or how about,
I hate eating alone in restaurants. I always think people are staring at me, feeling sorry for me. (Or, the fact is they are probably not thinking about me at all.)
And then as an in-depth exercise, you can apply this principle of the opposite using the following process.
1. At the top of a clean page, write I am aware. Then keep writing until a page is filled.
2. At the top of the next page, write I am afraid. Again, keep writing until the page is filled.
3. Looking back over these two pages, fill a third page with a comparison of them. How does what you are aware of relate to what you are afraid of?
4. As a bonus, you can circle the words in the third page that stand out and write more about them on a new page.
How's about giving this exercise a try? Let us know how it worked (or not) for you. Post your comments below.
Check out more other journal writing options, avenues and exercises write now.
Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jesswebb/5249752972/
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Tue, Feb 07, 2012 @ 03:11 PM
Guest Blog Post by Margaret
I kept a diary as a child. Purple with polka dots and a gold keyed lock. I wrote about my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions. It well served as an outlet of expression, but lacked implication. Emotions were laid out willy-nilly, never arranged in a way that made sense. Their rationality was unchallenged. Their origin unexplored.
As a teenager I graduated from my purple diary to composition books, black and white speckled, and begin to write those thoughts I held private from the world, convinced they would be misunderstood. I composed song lyrics about love and tried to make sense of my adolescence.
I became consumed with exploring the ideas of others versus my own as an adult. Trying to unravel the mystery of my life, I searched the used bookstores of San Francisco in search of the answer – the one book that would make sense of my existence. I never found that book.
Between working and endless job searching, a consequence of the Silicon Valley tech bust, I became consumed with the day to day. My reading became limited to the commute on the train. I never wrote at all. The journals of my childhood and adolescence had been long disposed out of the embarrassment about the less-than-adult self they revealed.
I had dismissed writing as a component of my identity, consumed as I was with finding my niche in the world of work – so consumed that most all of my conversations rotated around my pursuit. Instead of searching for the answer in novels, I began to informally catalogue the experiences of others. If it worked for them and they were happy, then maybe if I followed their pattern then I would be...Well, that method didn’t work. But through the collection of stories, I gained reverence for the process. I saw that there wasn’t one clear way to find fulfillment, no right answers; there was only probable directions chosen partly by intent and partly by circumstance.
I wanted to make sense of it all. To organize my experiences, the stories I had read and the stories I had heard from others, and finding no other outlet suitable, I began to write about the process of finding a niche, the process of figuring out one’s fulfillment. I wanted to create a place for others to explore, to stay a while, to meditate on their own processes.
The beginning of my posts always came quickly. I laid out the scene, but I got stuck at each ending. I could feel what I wanted to say, but I could not find the words. I’d walk away and come back until I could pull the words from myself, finally, unlike the writing of my childhood, coherent in their application.
Writing about the process of finding my niche, the vicarious experiences of others, I made sense of my direction. Stop by. Share your experience. Join me in Figuring Out Fulfillment.
Here is my composition book. I write every morning before work, and find the practice of organizing my thoughts helps me through the day.
About the Author
Margaret is an author on the blog, Figuring Out Fulfillment, a storytelling project about finding a career and finding yourself. After finishing a Masters in Business Administration, Margaret moved to San Francisco in her 20s, where she lived through the technology bust at the beginning of the 2000-2010 decade. In San Francisco she tried on and tried out a number of different jobs and possible careers. Each one taught her something about herself and got her a little closer to figuring out fulfillment. Increasingly interested in the role work plays in peoples’ lives, she completed a Masters in Social Work at Columbia University, where she focused her studies on workplace issues. She now works and lives in Washington, DC with her husband, three cats, and a few roaming fur balls. You can email her at Margaret@FiguringOutFulfillment.com.
Margaret’s Journal today is her composition book. She says, “I write every morning before work, and find the practice of organizing my thoughts helps me through the day.”