Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Thu, May 17, 2012 @ 10:02 AM
Thanks for the opportunity to join you on your blog today, Mari! And thank you for your interest in my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother's Path to Self-Discovery and its accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards.
I believe that mothers are a significant part of the "ripple effect" - that will transform the world into a more loving, more nurturing place. Imagine for a moment a pebble thrown into a pond. It creates a ripple that goes on and on and on.
Because moms are natural role models, our kids are observing all the time. There's a lot of truth in the saying, "Monkey see, monkey do." In other words, when a mom is modeling the value of following her heart, her kids "get it" - much more than they would if she was just saying it. Kids feel energy. They know when a person is happy and when they're not.
When a mother is living life with complete authenticity, she's subconsciously giving permission for her kids to do the same. She's truly at her best - creating powerful change for her family, her community, and for the world at large. It's all part of "the ripple."
And if our children could live life in a way that honors who they really are, it would make the ripple even bigger because they would touch lives in a positive way, too - just by living authentically. Everything would have a richer and deeper meaning. It would create a ripple of joyful energy that could literally heal the world.
What "journaling by the moonlight" brought to me was an understanding that things do happen for a reason. It helped me discover that my life had a bigger meaning, a bigger purpose - and motherhood was only a part of it. By journal writing through a two-year depression (right after the birth of my first child), I began to discover the synchronicities in my life. I started exploring my life story - up until that point.
I began having rich conversations with my mother and learned about the depression that she had battled, trying to raise four kids with very little support. We discussed the importance of having a personal identity - a connection to something deeper within ourselves that was expressed fully in the outside world.
This led to other dialogues with other mothers - and I was fascinated by the similarities in our stories. While we all loved being moms, we all desired "that something else" - that something that connected all the dots, that brought all the life experiences together to create a path toward a bigger purpose.
My experience with depression - that feeling of being totally disconnected to myself and the world around me - led me to asking the question, "I'm a Mom, but who am I really?" And by "being" with the truth of the reality and by listening to my intuitive wisdom, I found my voice. I found my bigger purpose in life.
Intuition is our "divine channel of wisdom." It always knows best. And when we listen to it, we can't go wrong. It feeds our soul with the right messages for us. It can guide us on the right path and in making the right decisions in the moment. It can feed us with the right messages for our children. And when we can be fully open to it, it always gives us the answers we need. When we doubt it, even in the smallest of ways, we can be thrown off track - sometimes in a very painful way.
When we're in the midst of a decision of any kind, especially one that has the potential to change our lives in a big way, journal writing can help. We can ask ourselves the deep, thought-provoking questions and we can listen for the answers, allowing them to feed through us. We are all divinely guided - and when we are willing to ask the questions and when we are open to receiving the answers, we can travel a more purposeful, more authentic path.
Journal writing is an invitation to jump into the depth of our heart and soul. It's a place where truth can be spoken without fear of judgment and without worry of being censored. It creates a very private, very sacred place where we can have an honest conversation with our subconscious (that deep inner knowing that we all have). It also provides the space where we can dialogue with our higher power, asking open-ended questions and waiting for thoughtful answers.
But it all begins with truth. Before we begin our search for answers, we must first be willing to tell the truth. We must be willing to speak from a place of honesty, which many times comes from a place of pain.
In my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother's Path to Self-Discovery, I offer a series of journal writing prompts (called Moonlight Musings) that follow a self-exploration process. Each of these prompts are designed to take a mother to a deeper place within her being - and can take anywhere from five minutes to 30 minutes, depending on how connected a mom might be with a particular question.
I've also designed an accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards. Each card offers a prompt that guides moms on an inner journey to discover more about herself and how to honor her gifts in our external world.
A mother really does know best. She knows what's best for her child - and she knows what's best for herself - IF she really listens and follows her intuition.
* For more information about my book and the work that I do, please visit: www.JournalingByTheMoonlight.com and receive my 12 best tips for journal writing.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Wed, May 16, 2012 @ 03:45 PM
My friend Carey is frustrated because she wants very much to accomplish something but she just doesn't seem to get anywhere. Her passion for her goal never wanes; every day she's talking of it, dreaming and hoping and praying and even gathering ideas and tools. But nothing ever actually gets done.
She's a friend, but I only know her a little. From my limited perspective, I'd say there are many issues involved: fear of success; overwhelm at the magnitude of the challenge; general fatigue and confusion; and maybe many other inhibiting forces.
But it finally struck me that there's really just one major obstacle for her: she has not yet written out what she wants to accomplish. She has thought about it, talked about it, read and shared information with diligence. Yet that missing step – writing down the plan – means that all her effort is spinning wheels.
It's truly mysterious, yet easily provable. Somehow, the process of making a written articulation brings you much closer to manifesting your dream.
We use writing commonly in many ways to keep our lives organized and on track.
• For many, making a list of tasks for today is the first step in getting those chores done.
• In business, creating a written plan brings success with less stress.
• Writing down your dreams first thing in the morning is a practice that quickly results in increased dream recall.
Journaling, also, is a daily habit that improves self-awareness and inner calm.
Journal Writing about your goals involves two basic steps.
1. Describe the end product. Find the words to specify exactly what your goal will look like when it is fulfilled. Include all aspects of the goal and how it will change you or your world. By writing it, get to know your dream in intimate detail.
2. Meticulously create the steps it will take to get from where you are now to where you want to be. Write them as a list, or series of paragraphs, or collection of stickies that you can re-arrange.
The miracle of writing as a productivity tool does not work unless you hand write. And that means Pen to Page Every Day!
Give us your success stories on journal writing and your goal getting. If you want to write a guest blog about it, we'll gladly publish it.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Mon, May 14, 2012 @ 07:45 PM
When you go to the doctor’s office for a medical check-up, your physician records your vital statistics – height, weight, pulse, blood pressure – and asks you a number of questions about your general health and well-being. In the same way your body changes over time, your journal writing practice also evolves and changes. Take some time today to do a check-up on your journaling and see where you have been and where you are going.
Your Journaling Health
1. When did you first start journaling? How old were you? What inspired you to start journal writing? Can you remember anything you wrote about when you first began your journaling practice?
2. How often do you write in your journal? Have you been a continuous journaler, or is there an ebb and flow to your journaling habits? Why do you think you have adopted this pattern?
3. What rituals do you keep when journaling? Is there a time of day you prefer to write? Do you have a favorite pen or type of journal? Do you have regular habits while you journal, such as making a cup of tea or listening to music? How do these rituals enrich your journal writing experience?
4. When do you feel most compelled to write in your personal journal? Do you find that you write more when you are angry, sad, happy or confused? Do you write only when you are going through major events in your life or on a more daily basis?
5. What is your favorite part of journaling? How does it make you feel? Why do you continue to write (for self-discovery, self-improvement, health reasons, etc.)?
6. What is the most challenging part of journaling? What do you struggle with? What roadblocks or obstacles do you need to overcome?
7. What is the most significant journal writing experience you have had? Describe what happened and why it was important to you.
8. What do you like best about your current relationship with your personal journal? How do you think you have grown over time? What would you like to improve about your relationship with your journal?
9. What kind of journaling would you like to experiment with more (for example, art journaling or travel journaling)? What about it do you find appealing?
10. Do you ever go back and read your old journal entries? If yes, what do you find most interesting about this process? If no, why not?
Renew your writing inspiration with fresh new journaling ideas (154 and counting…).
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Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Fri, May 11, 2012 @ 06:15 PM
It’s finally May and spring (though it does feel like summer!) is in full bloom. With warm
breezes ruffling your hair, the sun shining and days getting longer and brighter, it is becoming increasingly difficult to stay inside.
When the weather warms up, it is much easier to find distractions and excuses to keep you from journaling. You may say to yourself, “How can I stay indoors journal writing on a beautiful day like this?” The answer is simple: Go outside and take your journal with you!
On-the-Go Journaling Tips
1. Pack a picnic (and your journal)
Spend a leisurely spring afternoon in the park, at the beach or on a hike. Gather a few friends, pack a delicious picnic lunch and don’t forget your journal. After you eat and before you doze off in the sun, spend a few minutes journal writing about your day.
2. Get in touch with Mother Nature
Use the beginning of a new season as inspiration for your journal. Go on a nature journaling walk in your favorite location and record everything you see, hear, smell, feel and taste. Write about and celebrate your favorite parts of springtime.
3. Hit the road
Feeling restless from spring fever? Give into it and take a short weekend road trip! Go camping, pick a new city to explore or simply be a tourist in the area where you live. Challenge yourself to do something new and out of the ordinary, then write about it in your journal when you take a break later.
4. Change it up
You don’t have to go too far from home to get a welcome change of scenery. If you normally write in your home office, try journal writing from an outdoor café or coffee shop instead.
What are your favorite journaling tips for sunny days? Do you drink something special or have some munchies? Share them in the comments.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Thu, May 10, 2012 @ 06:18 PM
Mothers are sources of infinite knowledge and wisdom, whether you are five or 50 years old. Your mom probably taught you countless valuable lessons throughout your life, from how to pick yourself up after falling down (literally and figuratively!) to how to throw together a quick and nutritious meal.
Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday, and it’s an opportune occasion to think about the important life lessons your mother passed along to you over the years. Whether or not she is still with you, you can celebrate your mom by journaling about how her values have made a lasting impression on you.
Journal Writing on Mother’s Day
1. Think about the character and personality traits of your mother. What kind of person is she? What makes her unique? What do you love or admire most about her? What qualities does she have that you try to emulate? What three words would you use to describe her? Write a brief portrait of your mom as if you were describing her to a friend who hadn’t met her before.
2. Now try to remember the most important ideas, morals, warnings or pieces of advice your mom has given to you during your lifetime. Does she have certain trademark sayings or anecdotes? Does she tend to lead by example rather than with words? Out of all of these experiences, choose one that represents the most valuable lesson your mother ever taught you.
3. Start by summarizing this lesson in one sentence, then add more details to your description by using the following questions as journaling thought starters:
• How old were you when your mom shared this information with you? How did the topic come up? How did you react at the time? Did your perspective change over time?
• Why does this lesson resonate with you so strongly? How have you applied your mother’s advice to real-life situations? Have you shared it with other people in your life?
• What do you think this story says about your mom’s personality or values? What does it say about your own?
• If you could tell your mother how her lesson has affected your life in a positive way, what would you want her to know?
If you still need some ideas and inspiration for Mother’s Day give these journaling prompts a gander and keep writing!
Happy Mother's Day to my Mother who art in heaven!
xoxo...
Mari L.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Wed, May 09, 2012 @ 05:09 PM
Experiences like journaling or creativity, physical training or attaining goals for self-improvement are activities we engage in because we're interested in being the best we can be. Though sometimes participation can be challenging, it can also be refreshing, rejuvenating, and even relaxing.
I had a jolt of awakening that still is with me many years later, when a teacher spoke of "playing with your edge." When involved in any activity or learning process, you soon find your edge, the place where it's not simply fun anymore, where it gets a bit hard for you. What had been fun and nothing but encouraging suddenly becomes difficult, a little scary. You consider quitting.
My teacher's brilliance lay in the combination of that scary edge with the concept of play. The idea of playing with your edge struck a new chord with me. Play with it, don't deny it, run from it, or try to find a way around it; just play with it.
A friend was talking about Julia Cameron's Morning Pages the other day, saying she had been writing two pages each morning, but not quite getting to three. I urged her to stick to the three-page rule. There's a reason for it.
You write what comes naturally until you decide you're done, but you have written only two pages. That’s your edge. That’s the place where you can grow. Start playing.
I know, I know. It seems ridiculous to resist your fatigue, boredom, or whatever is causing you to want to move on to other things. But Cameron is quite explicit in her instructions.
Until you stay with it - exploring, teasing, and dancing with your edge - you're just being entertained. When you begin to play with your edge, you open the door to revelations, success, and growth.
This applies in myriad areas, when you think about it. You might play with the edges of your tolerance for cold, your ability to resist temptation, or the top range of your singing voice. Just about any endeavor will bring you to a level of challenge sooner or later. How you respond in those key moments makes all the difference.
In regular journal writing, here are a few ways you might play with your edge; and I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments.
• Pursue an idea. Whether it's physics, relationships, or needlework set an intention to journal about it every day and find out what's beyond the urge to skip a day.
• If your journal begins to bore you, press on to the other side by writing even more. Dissect the boredom to discover its pearls.
• Refuse to let things slide in your journal. If you don't understand or can't accept something in your life, drill past resistances to the very root. Stubbornly persist, and the writings will teach you.
Your turn! How do you play with your journaling edge? What revelations have you had as a result?
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/wwarby/5110093584/
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Tue, May 08, 2012 @ 09:11 AM
By Darlene Wierski-Devoe
You take a whole lot of experience, wrap it inside a desire to help, gently package it in a pretty bag full of hope and understanding and you have “Just Like You”.
Anxiety was no stranger in our house as the last 8 or so years have been shadowed by my daughters’ struggles with severe anxiety. We have implemented our share of strategies we’ve utilized countless goals and feeling charts, expressed anxious feelings through art and speech. In the end, unless you know how it feels – that moment when you are certain you are not going to make it another minute, it is terribly hard to explain to others; especially to other children.
Over the years I have heard other kids in the school yard give up on my daughter saying, “Don’t bother she’ll just say no” or “She’ll just cry don’t even ask her”. I’ve had children ask me what’s wrong with our daughter instead of them asking her. It became apparent that both for other children, parents and teachers there needed to be a way to bring awareness to what anxiety looks and feels like. Dealing with anxiety each and every day makes you feel sometimes like life is passing you by. I wanted for my life’s experiences to be a catalyst for change.
The manuscript for “Just Like You” came within an hour. It was a quick outpouring of my explanation to others of what an anxious child goes through each and every day. Does it mirror the childhood of my daughter? Absolutely. Does it mirror and mimic that of my childhood? More than you would ever know.
A few years ago I thought for sure that life as I knew it was over. I had experienced one of the worst panic attacks of my life; in fact I took myself to the hospital convinced I was about to see the white light. It turns out there was no white light in store for me, just a long road ahead of processing through years of trauma and grief. But in amidst the challenges that we faced, this beautiful book emerged.
“Just Like You” follows a young girl through her everyday life. The reader is able to see her in different settings and can begin to understand why she cries, why she is so upset and why she doesn’t speak. The young reader is also introduced to the “anxiety monster”. The reader is able to see that anxiety is not part of them but a “thing” that is pesky and annoying. There are definitely ways to tame that “anxiety monster” a child just needs a patient and supportive environment and they will soar.
This book is for everyone. For the anxious child it offers solace that the feelings they are having are not unusual and they are not alone. For the parent who has never experienced that kind of debilitating anxiety it is an opportunity to really see how hard every day can be for their child. For friends and peers of anxious children – it offers a sense of understanding. The girl/boy in my class isn’t talking because he’s being rude, she/he is terrified.
Working in tandem with the book “Just Like You”, is “Me”. It’s a toolbox journal that my son and I created. He is a fantastic artist and when asked if he’d like to be involved he jumped at the chance. What a wonderful experience. This journal gives children a sense of ownership and awareness of their own emotions. It allows them to have a secure place to let their feelings flow. At the bottom of each page is an affirmation. These are encouraging and inspiring phrases that children can say out loud. Each phrase is written to help foster a positive mindset and a sense of empowerment.
We have over the years been so lucky to have lots of people in our “village of support”. Each has lent a fresh idea or perspective and much needed support. The goal of this book is to teach others not to give up on these kids; to keep asking them to play, or to join in, or to be a friend.
About Darlene
Darlene Wierski-Devoe is a certified Life Coach, owner of Talk, Breathe, Live and the founder and publisher of the “Raising Socially Anxious Children” blog. She specializes in creating balance and wellness for parents and families who struggle with mood and anxiety disorders. As a result of her own experiences with anxiety – and those of her children – Darlene has created an ever-evolving community where parents and caregivers can find support, resources and inspiration.
To order your copy of “Just Like You” or “Me” please go to www.talkbreathelive.com/bookstore
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Mon, May 07, 2012 @ 11:29 AM
Here is a piece of positive news in a tough economic climate: you can make a fresh financial start in just a week, using only your journal and a pen.
The best things in life may be free, but money is a source of stress and worry for many of us in our day-to-day lives. You may feel anxious about paying the bills, saving for the future or providing for your family, but you don’t know how to deal with these concerns. If you’re like many people, you probably just try to ignore them until they have can no longer be avoided and have to be addressed.
No matter what the state of your financial affairs, you have the power to change your old habits and take action to build a smart, stable financial future for yourself. Journaling helps you gain control over the power of money in your life. The Challenge guides participants in using daily journal writing to come to terms with money worries, create healthy and productive approaches to money-making, discover and heal the origins of fears about money, and create workable strategies for achieving personal financial goals.
Sign up for the Create Write Now Pay Yourself First! 7 Days Money Mastery Journaling Challenge, taking place May 14 to 20, 2012, and learn how you can use your personal journal for self-development, personal growth and lasting change.
How the Challenge Works
Participation in the money mastery workshop is free! All you have to do is purchase a copy of the journaling e-workbook and Sign Up to join the workshop community.
Benefits of the 7 Days Money Mastery Journaling Challenge
Your personal journal is the perfect tool to manage your concerns about money, and the 7 Days Money Mastery Journaling Challenge workbook guides you through a different set of reflections and writing exercises for each day of the week. Joining the challenge will allow you to:
• Have access to an engaged journaling community, a private online classroom and private sessions with Mari, the journaling therapy specialist
• Explore the roots of your fears and worries about money and work toward overcoming them
• Create healthy, sustainable habits for money making and money management
• Commit to personal change and achieve your personal finance goals
Get started now! Download a free chapter of the workbook and Sign Up for the Challenge. The Pay Yourself First! 7 Days of Journaling to Money Mastery workbook is now available on Kindle, Nook, Sony and Smashwords.
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Fri, May 04, 2012 @ 07:07 AM
In our day-to-day life, conflicts or disagreements arise. To prevent small problems from becoming major issues, we have to initiate conflict management conversations that we’d prefer to forget about or at least avoid! Perhaps you need to talk to an employee about a less-than-stellar performance at work or you need to remind your brother about the loan he hasn’t been repaying recently.
If you are like many people, conflict management is probably not your favorite activity, but personal journaling before you start a difficult conversation can help you sort out your emotions, organize your thoughts, anticipate any awkward moments and have a plan to deal with them.
Journal Writing for Conflict Management
1. Open your journal to a blank page and describe the problem in specific detail. Who is involved? How is it affecting your work or personal life? Why are you concerned about it as a short-term or long-term problem? Be as honest as possible. For example:
Someone I manage at work is constantly bringing her personal issues into the office. If she is fighting with her boyfriend, she comes in late, disappears for long periods of time on her cell phone and has emotional breakdowns during the workday. I have sympathy for her, but it’s affecting her work performance and the office environment as a whole.
2. Imagine how you will address this problem. What do you want to communicate with the person involved? How do you think he or she would respond best? What outcomes do you want to see after your conversation? What do you want to avoid? Is there anything about the situation that worries you or causes you stress? For example:
I want to take her aside and talk to her alone so she doesn’t feel embarrassed. I want to emphasize that she’s a good employee and valued in the office, but it’s a distraction when her personal problems are a focus at work. I would like to have an open conversation about what we can do to make this situation better, but I am afraid that she will be defensive or angry, and that will make it worse.
3. Write out a sample script of how this conversation would unfold. What would you say? What would he or she say? Use personal journaling as your test run for the real-life discussion. For example:
Me: Anita, I wanted to talk with you about something I’ve been noticing at work. You seem to be distracted by some personal concerns during the workday, and they may be having an impact on your work…
Your Turn
Have you ever considered using personal journaling to help you create compassionate confrontations? Please give us your tips, tricks and techniques. Your name will go into our May 31 drawing for a Free eBook!
Posted by Mari L. McCarthy on Thu, May 03, 2012 @ 12:01 PM
Hello everyone, it's Stephen Smith. Mari has so courteously invited me back to share more of my Journaling Practice with you. Today I want to talk about using a video camera to create a "Video Journal".
I spend a lot of my days seated at a desk in my home office banging out articles like this and building websites for small businesses. So, to get a little variety, I like to get outside once in a while. I have found that I can do a lot of really creative thinking out in the woods and up on the mountains. I take a notebook with me, a small video camera, a tiny tripod, and sometimes my watercolor painting gear (note, I am really not good at the painting, but I will be taking a class this summer).
Once I get out away from the crowds, the cars, the distractions of everyday life, I open up my "Notebook of Worthless Ideas" and start jotting down whatever comes to mind. If nothing comes to me right away I might just sit and enjoy the scenery or take a shot at drawing or painting.
The point is to get out of my normal environment so that the creativity really gets going. When that idea does come to me, or when I flip back through the pages of the NoWI in search of inspiration, I write down everything that I can. I try to explore possibilities for what I could do with that idea, what my colleagues might be able to do with it, is it something that I can make and sell? Sometimes the ideas come at a fast-and-furious pace, other times I actually head out to meditate on a pre-selected idea (that is where the idea for my book Work. Smarter. came from...) in order to get away from the distractions and really create an atmosphere for concentration and creativity.
I wrote a pretty long piece about this a while back:
Find or create a place to think
This is more important than people believe it is. When you are in a different place than when you normally do your work your mind is able to be open to new pathways and creativity because of the change in your environment. When you are sitting at your desk you will have a specific state of mind based on the normal, routine things that you regularly do there. In addition, you may feel guilty about not working on the urgent things that are in your to-do list, which can seriously inhibit creative thinking. Stephen Covey has a lot to say about this in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, especially about how the Urgent can overwhelm the Important. Setting aside time to think and be creative is important - both to your effectiveness and to your mental health. Just thinking or worrying about being interrupted during your thinking time can stymie your creativity, what would someone think if they walked in on you staring at a piece of blank paper? Or, worse yet, seeing you doodling sketching out some ideas in a mind-map? Finally, finding a special place to go and do some creative thinking will, over time, act like a reinforcement to generating and sustaining your own creative thinking mind-set. Your "Thinking Spot" should be conducive to reflection and introspection. Be mindful of your breathing. You may even discover a little routine of breathing in a particular way just before you "start to think". Small rituals like this are what Jonathan Fields calls "certainty anchors", small acts that become guideposts in your mind for specific behavior.
What about the Video Journal?
I'm getting to that. When the creative thinking session is over, when I feel like I have done what I could with the time I set aside, it's time to get out the camera. I set it up on the little tripod, point it at myself and hit record. Then I start talking about what I have been thinking and making notes about. I have found that actually speaking out loud can help to clarify some points of thought or even introduce new questions. I made this video after one such session, up near the top of Mt Major, near Alton, New Hampshire: (This video originally accompanied a blog post on how I do Creative Thinking, and was an introduction to the Notebook of Worthless Ideas)
As you can see this video was made with the intention of sharing with the general public. Yours doesn't have to be. It can be as personal as you want to make it, YouTube has a couple of privacy settings for you to choose from. It is easier to make a Video Journal than you might think, you don't have to get very elaborate. Many laptops have cameras built right in to the screen and you can record yourself wherever you are and send that video straight to your YouTube account. You will find that it gets to be much more comfortable talking to the camera after a few of these video recordings and you can play around with various video editing toolsthat exist to create fun effects. If you do decide to experiment with a video journal be sure to stop back here and post a link. We'd love to see it!
About the author: Stephen Smith writes about Productivity and Social Media Literacy at the In Context Blog. His e-book, a compilation of best practices for personal and business development, is called Work. Smarter. and will be available very soon. Like in a week. Learn more here: Work. Smarter. the book. You can follow him on Twitter at @hdbbstephen.